Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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