i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
