i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
