Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize