I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
