he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a kid would responsible me up
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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