About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
