guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
