he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
