Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
