I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Randomize
