Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Randomize
