it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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