There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
