hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I need moral support for this bender
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
