I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize