Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
