So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
