Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
