Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
