If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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