If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
