I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
try to milk me bitch
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