Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
