If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
