My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.