i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
