dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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