Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize