drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
