You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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