Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
