so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
