I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize