Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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