i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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