Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
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That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
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Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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