dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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