matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
