xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
