And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
