I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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