Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
