Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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