you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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