ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate

  Fav 3 2160 984

  share tweet
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  What!?!?! How are you txting?!

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.

  Fav 55 1577 3561

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking

  Fav 14 4739 1269

  share tweet
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.

  Fav 5 2618 1114

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (928): View more from Arizona

  Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...

  Fav 2 1227 908

  share tweet
  

• (281): View more from Texas

  Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning

  Fav 10 1331 1042

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (815): View more from Illinois

  Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."

  Fav 18 793 3330

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!

  Fav 11 1445 959

  share tweet
  

• (714): View more from California

  The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!

  Fav 14 2100 858

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.

  Fav 3 651 1448

  share tweet
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.

  Fav 0 628 959

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (614): View more from Ohio

  Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me

  Fav 9 972 565

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.

  Fav 1 324 470

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.

  Fav 1 238 88

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card

  Fav 1 22 66

  share tweet
  

Randomize