Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.

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(303): idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup. http://tfl.nu/dh7x

Replies (39) Good night (633) Bad night (3484)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20

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(919): i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20 http://tfl.nu/xo20

Replies (72) Good night (5496) Bad night (789)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

i just sold back the books i vomitted on

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(856): i just sold back the books i vomitted on http://tfl.nu/74a4

Replies (12) Good night (4171) Bad night (1073)
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(214): View more from Texas

he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.

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(214): he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day. http://tfl.nu/ey19

Replies (16) Good night (5111) Bad night (852)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home

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(513): Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home http://tfl.nu/jyep

Replies (15) Good night (8464) Bad night (866)
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(530): View more from California

I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me

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(530): I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me http://tfl.nu/rrqt

Replies (23) Good night (6590) Bad night (1099)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.

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(501): Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog. http://tfl.nu/8mg1

Replies (18) Good night (10241) Bad night (1881)
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(845): View more from New York

You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.

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(845): You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake. http://tfl.nu/r8rw

Replies (4) Good night (4844) Bad night (853)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.

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(708): I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look. http://tfl.nu/k5sb

Replies (15) Good night (4629) Bad night (770)
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(404): View more from Georgia

im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it

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(404): im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it http://tfl.nu/4p1k

Replies (4) Good night (2092) Bad night (487)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty

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(732): I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty http://tfl.nu/54ho

Replies (11) Good night (764) Bad night (1376)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.

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(843): I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are. http://tfl.nu/lq46

Replies (4) Good night (2129) Bad night (627)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.

(612): View more from Minnesota

His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.

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(218): His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place. (612): His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants. http://tfl.nu/9orv

Replies (8) Good night (802) Bad night (1207)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.

(1-901): View more from Tennessee

You have found the Promised Land of friend zones

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(901): "It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome. (1-901): You have found the Promised Land of friend zones http://tfl.nu/0f4w

Replies (3) Good night (1162) Bad night (617)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.

(216): View more from Ohio

Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.

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(330): He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success. (216): Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail. http://tfl.nu/s5vp

Replies (5) Good night (688) Bad night (185)

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