Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman

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  (250): I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman http://tfl.nu/ee4v
  Replies (2) Good night (907) Bad night (996)
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  (818): View more from California

  I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.

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  (818): I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here. http://tfl.nu/5v02
  Replies (19) Good night (930) Bad night (4978)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."

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  (407): I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr." http://tfl.nu/64va
  Replies (14) Good night (1078) Bad night (2819)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.

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  (+44): Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate. http://tfl.nu/oa41
  Replies (22) Good night (1210) Bad night (4525)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.

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  (651): We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots. http://tfl.nu/8ot5
  Replies (3) Good night (2109) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.

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  (614): He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/hs4h
  Replies (22) Good night (4572) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.

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  (971): You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified. http://tfl.nu/imja
  Replies (12) Good night (1366) Bad night (2518)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.

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  (732): That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go. http://tfl.nu/exr6
  Replies (5) Good night (1619) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car

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  (443): dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car http://tfl.nu/5sre
  Replies (2) Good night (1398) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.

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  (312): He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work. http://tfl.nu/lc9m
  Replies (12) Good night (1053) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!

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  (843): Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics! http://tfl.nu/lxnu
  Replies (16) Good night (1681) Bad night (773)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend

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  (602): Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend http://tfl.nu/pyzq
  Replies (4) Good night (378) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup

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  (513): Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup http://tfl.nu/jbl9
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  He meets the coolest people when he's drunk

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  (316): Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget (1-316): He meets the coolest people when he's drunk http://tfl.nu/0j8z
  Replies (1) Good night (993) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects

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  (641): The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects http://tfl.nu/vfz8
  Replies (3) Good night (360) Bad night (207)

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