so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
