He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
