What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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