Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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