The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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