I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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