watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
