I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
