giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
