Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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