Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
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Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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