...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
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I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
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I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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