I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
